What kind of mother would you want?

"Sorry, but my children bore me to death! "

Joel sent me the above article. You can click on it to read it. I'm not sure how he came across it. It disturbs me. (Joel thinks she's neurotic and doesn't deserve her kids.) I think she must not have had a very loving mother.

She's so cold. To enjoy someone's presence is to love them. I love you but I don't want to be with you. Something's wrong with that statement.

Annie never bores me. I look forward to every new discovery in Annie's life...to just being with her. I have no "secret thoughts" of wanting to take a bus to the big city or go shopping without her. It's sad when people think of a child as a burden or hindrance...or unwelcome.

The problem is that the writer of that article is justifying her actions against parents who "put their children first"--to the child's detriment. Like those I observed when worked at day care: it was always what the child wanted and when their child became whiny or naughty they didn't want to be around them. The writer is also thinking of the stay-at-home-moms with no joy or inner/outer peace.

There has to be a balance. I don't want to overload my child with activities or make her needy just to satisfy my need to be needed. I want to share with her a love for people, for life, and for creation. I want to give her the security she needs to becomes all that God intended her to be.

How about the article below? (A breath of fresh air after the above article. I agree with her entirely.) Which kind of outlook would you want in a mom?

(Personally, I rather like the mom I've got.)

I Want To Be A Mom

Dedication to the Lord

Psalm 127:3-5
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one's youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Annie's dedication ceremony was this past Sunday. The purpose of this is for Joel and I to declare before men that we are committed to training Annie up in the Lord. We truly believe that the fruit of the womb is God's reward, and now we give back to Him what He has given us.



Joel and I are constantly praying for Annie and asking for wisdom in raising her. Her Chinese name is "Ai xin" (given by my father), and it means a heart full of love for people. Imagine if we let Ai xin have her way all the time and constantly sought only to please her...little "love heart" would grow up to be very selfish.

I have found that it is a challenge to remain consistent in discipline. For example, if I tell Annie to not to open that drawer but then I don't do anything about it later when I see her doing it...that's not good. Being consistant in this is the opposite of being lazy. It is one of the ways I show her I love her.

"He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly." Proverbs 13:24

It takes a lot of work to "train up a child." She has a strong will and a temper. I might take away something she found and isn't supposed to play with (my cellphone), and she will get redfaced and fume and pull strong at her clothes. I calmly (very important) lay her over my lap and give her a spanking or two. She cries a little, but the temper will have dissapeared! Now her tempers are few and far between and much less extreme.

"The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." Proverbs 29:15

I am also training Annie to come to me when I call her. I saw a little two year old at church run away from his mother across the parking lot, not caring the least for his mother calling him repeatedly. I never want that for Annie. Right now Annie can't know right from wrong, safe from unsafe. However, she can listen to Mama and Papa not go into that corner with the CD stack because she knows it is off limits. She doesn't have to have a lot of rules, just one rule: obey mom and dad. She will find safety, peace, self-control in this. And we hope: as she grows it will be more natural for her to listen to God and obey Him.




As you can see, Joel is doing much better.

p.s. For young parents reading this, or young singles for future note, a ministries that has been helpful to us in its Biblical wisdom is No Greater Joy (nogreaterjoy.org).

First Time Swimming

Visit from A-da (grandpa) & Joel's Health

Annie loved playing with A-da. He was so good with her. He taught her a couple of Chinese nursery rhyme songs.

Some of you have been wondering why haven't updated. (I've recieved a few calls from friends: "Are you guys ok? You haven't made a post in a while!") For those of you who didn't know, Joel got sick the day of Annie's birthday party and that week he was in the Emergency Room twice. Then, over the fourth of July, we spent three days in the hospital. The doctors diagnosed him with Ulcerative Colitis. He's doing so much better since we got home from the hospital. He's on medication, but the doctor is slowly tapering it off. Joel's friend had the same thing and went on a special diet that cured him for the most part. It's strict: no grains, no rice, bread or pasta. No starches or sugars. (Corn and potatoes are out.) Nothing from a can and no prepackaged foods. No dairy products except for hard cheeses. One thing you can eat and lots of it is homemade yogurt. It has to ferment for 24 hours. Our friend gave us his book and yogurt maker to get started. The good news is that you don't have to stay on the diet forever, just until the symptoms subside and then some.

It was great that my father was here while Joel was going through that rough time. He took Annie entertained Annie in the hospital library while I held Joel's hand in the ER. It was a difficult time. The second time Joel's mom called Baba and I while we were eating lunch and said, "Joel's in the emergency room again." It's scary to hear those words. It's scary to see your husband lose 20 pounds in one week. It was scary to see his hands deathly white.

But thank God, he is doing so much better. He's a new person. He's gained a lot of weight and got some color back. Things are looking normal. The diet is super strict but super nutritious, so maybe that's why he's got that healthy glow again.


Thank you all for your prayers for Joel.

Annie's First Birthday Party

Annie's birthday party was a huge success. The park shelter was packed full. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves.





We had a balloon race, a hot potato game, and a three-legged race.











The magic show was the big hit. Even strangers from the park stood and watched. I am amazed at how skilled my Dad has become! He used to do little magic tricks for Sabrina and I when we were little, and we would make fun of him. Now I am truly amazed: how did all those coins drop out of thin air?





It was also amazing to see Dad (Joel's Dad) there--only two weeks after open-heart surgury. He was walking and carrying his own chair! So many people were praying for him.

















Rachel, one of my art class students, was the lucky magic show volunteer that got to keep the bunny.




Special thanks to my friend Wormie for these great photos!