It Came To Pass...

I used to love change. Even as a kid, when my family was moving out of state and my best friend was in tears, I couldn't cry because of the excitement of change and the unknown.

I'm still partially like that but it's different now.

My brother Lucas came over today. I've missed him. A lot. He lives in town but between his restaurant job and massage school classes over the mountain we don't see much of each other. Sitting listening to him makes me remember again, back at our old house...

...Open fields that were ours to conquer, no school or work worries, no one watching us or telling us what to do
...Hauling all kinds of wood to build the "Zehr kids" tree house; it was hard work--but it wasn't
...Our log cabin made out of stacked firewood
...Making dyes out of poisonous berries that grew by the firewood cabin
...Playing kickball or kick the can with other kids in our big yard as the fireflies began to come out
...Watching kittens being born
...Playing Trumpet or Scum and being secretly happy when dad won again
...The noise of evening popcorn popping while we wait turning our bodies like hotdogs by the warm wood stove
...Mom teaching us all art or history at the school table as we each record notes in our handmade books
...Pretending to karate chop each other after dinner and mom telling us to calm down
...taking inventory of all mom's Nature's Sunshine herbs in that white metal cabnet that made a little screech as it closed
...Days as crisp as fresh autumn apple, when we'd hike up the big hill under a clear blue sky and play "town"
...Raking leaves into a maze and running through it
...reveling in the joys of days of heavy rain, when the creek valley turned into a chocolate river
...Running out the door right to take a big leap and grab the rope swing
...Climbing bareback on our first horse Fairlight just any old time
..."Debating" with Jami and having Megan tell us to stop it
...Being so goofy just to get laughs out of my siblings
...Megan's laugh and how it would make us all laugh, even if we didn't know what she was laughing about
...always finding Jami or Megan nestled comfortably with a book
...When dad would get goofy, just to get us kids roaring
...chasing after Lucas and Sabrina to tickle-torture them when they'd caught the shark, in a game of stairway fishing
...When my father sent me the best gift ever, the VHS camera: making movies with the Quesenberrys, (where Jami was always the mom, or grandma)
...Having everyone recognize our family by our large vehicle
...Being proud to be recognized as "the Zehr family" or "the Zehr kids", knowing secretly that though we didn't have much, we had so much that others didn't
...Having sleepovers

One sleepover in particular I stored in my mind: it was before we broke the back upstairs room into smaller parts. All five of us and our friends Lauren and Jared were in that room in our sleeping bags, telling stories to each other and trying to keep our laughs and giggles to a whisper, and failing miserably. I remember thinking how wonderful it was, us all together. I made myself remember it: the big puke-green coiled carped under us, the little window at the side with the stars peeking through, the red-painted wood floor, the way one of us would lean closer to the group when telling a story. I even sort-of remember Jared's story: something about how a girl liked him because of his shoes... It was as if I knew it would all come to pass. (It did: shortly after, no more girls and boys sleeping in the same room together!) :)


Yeah, Luke, I feel it too...

I haven't remembered in a while, because--it makes me smile...and hurt. Because our lives are so scattered now. I want little Annie to grow up knowing her grandma and grandpa Zehr and her aunts and uncle Lukie, but not just separately. Because when we're all together we become something different: like one well-fed bumbly loud creature with big pants. Thinking back, even when we had our feuds, we still took comfort in our unity. I think we all still want that same comfort, if only miles and grown-up burdens would allow.

An adventure in C'ville for our family

We had good soup and bread. We had a souvlaki too. Then a picture. TWICE! Melissa's friends are fun. Annie has cute pony-tails but she pooped on my shirt. I was wearing another shirt over that one.

(l2r back2front :: Darryl, Paul, Neil, A Me, Joyce, Juliana, Melissannie, A Me again. I'm on Vicodin for my wisdom teeth absence so this post is strange :: click on the pictures for a larger view you)

Annie's first portraits. What a happy girl! This is actually only three of seven. You can see the rest at searsportrait.com
Name: West
Online Session ID: 46013b100564281
Online Session Password: 74DV326WW
Date: 10/8/05

Yesterday Annie and I rescued a little calf from the cow traps (or whatever those things are called that the keep the cows in because their hoofs get stuck in them). The poor little guy had his entire legs caught! There was no one around and once I got him out, he just followed me. I had to push him gently toward the other penned-up calves and run away. Annie just watched, amused, from her stroller.

Joel's favorite.

Should I pose like this?