FRUIT!!!

Office Space, Cows, Feelings and the Miracle of Life

My new office. I just moved from bustling Harrisonburg to the aroma-filled dairy centropolis of the Weyers Cave agricultural industry. It's interesting sitting on a 3.4g P4 that's completely jacked with 1g of RAM, a mammoth nVidia painting two 17" flatscreens and sharing it's system resources with across open windows of both Adobe and Macromedia's entire suite (with a Outlook and 12 tabs of Firefox thrown in for good measure... yes I'm a dork) And when I look out the window, what do I see? Cows.




Cows.

All this to say, I've moved home. Tomorrow we've scheduled a C-section. Our first child. So I'm here, divided between my lovely and very pregnant wife with all of her anticipatory antics and the first round of revisions on a multimedia-CD Rom presentation.

Surprisingly I've gotten a lot done.



People keep asking me how I feel. I told my coworker last week that I feel like I should be feeling something. Tomorrow will be one of the most significant days of my life (unless the baby turns around and we get sent home... in which case, it will still be significant... just not as significant... if you know what I mean)

So what do I feel? Well... I'm kind of hungry. I'm kind of tired of staring at a computer screen (but that's normal for 6:30 PM) I'm glad it's my one-year anniversary.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY WIFE AND I ! ! !

I LOVE YOU MELISSA ! ! !

But aside from all that. I feel pretty darn normal.

I'm still a realist though. I know that as soon as I hold my new squirmy little miracle I'm probably gonna bawl my head off.

I'll post pics.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

In closing, though emotionally I'm sort of like an unopened jar of generic mayonaise right now, I couldn't be more thrilled. God has given my wife and I the most spectacular opportunity to boldly go where like 3 bazillion people have gone before! Parenthood! (the 3 bazillion before us don't make it any less spectacular)

Each one of you reading this is a unique and very individual self-contained existence that was procreated by two humans and God; you were implanted with a genome containing your very physical definition and given a mind, body and spirit all your own the moment you were conceived. I still cannot grasp that a whole human has been entrusted to me.

Who has this power? Who can say to society, "OK, here's a person! I give him/her into the care of Al and Peg Bundy! or... Homer and Marge! or... Hank and Peggy!"

Only God. I'm such a child when it comes to these monumental things. Only through Him can I have any hope that in and from my house, this child of ours will grow to fulfill the purpose for which he/she was intended.

(please disregard random changes font-color/style/size. all these years as a web designer and I can't figure out this bloomin' blog interface)

Joel this morning: "Seriously, your belly grew again overnight!"

Gender & Names

Sooo friends, been getting ideas of what we're having? (boy or girl) Or have you been guessing what we're going to name the child? (This question to elicit responses is purely for our amusement...) Our most daring response thus far?

"Sigismund"

hmmm...not bad... ;)

a happy day

yup yup yup, wow, can't believe I'm 22 today and very pregnant... Joel made me breakfast and gave me a unique handmade journal. He asked what I wanted to do to celebrate and I said, "Go swimming!"

It's a beautiful day. I just went out and watched the Canada geese family swim gracefully on our pond while Joel left for work.

Our little one doesn't seem to be eager to come out anytime soon. I've been having lots of practice contractions where my belly gets as hard as a basketball, but none of the real thing. As the c-section date fast approaches, we're still hoping he'll take a dive head-down (I just write "he", though of course I don't know...)

Meanwhile, God is filling me with peace........

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God:
that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us."
I John5:14

I smile every time I see this little outfit hanging on the bassinet!

mornings

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Mornings are more complicated when you are married. I remember mornings living alone. I'd roll out of bed around 6 and plod the 3 paces it took to get from the end of the bed to the edge of the shower (small apartment), shave, yawn/stretch and plop down on the couch with all my morning materials within arm's reach. After maybe 1/2 an hour of reading, praying or both... or neither, I'd flick on the TV and watch Saved by the Bell while I worked out and ate. Then I'd iron my pants and shirt, get dressed and brush my teeth. By this point though it was usually only 7:45 or so... so I'd plop back down on the couch and either play my guitar, watch TV or read for another half an hour and still make it to work 15 minutes early.

You're probably thinking "Gee that's nice. I wish my mornings were more like that!"

Well guess what, after about 6 months of it I was going nuts. BORING!!!!

Now my alarm wakes me up between 5:30 and 6 (depending on how strict I'm feeling the night before) and I usually turn it off and wait for nature to call my 9-month-pregnant wife. (This could be anywhere from 6:30 to 7:30) and the marathon that ensues is comprised of whipping up some breakfast, getting in and out of the bathroom quickly,

"Does this look wrinkly?"

"Liss!?!? Where's my belt?"

"Remember we have to go get my car first!"

"Is there anything for lunch?"

"Where's the checkbook?"

"Can you get some groceries on your way home?"

"I need to be at my appointment 15 minutes early!"

A little less peaceful? Yes... but quite a bit more adventurous.

When we finally catch our breath in the car on the way into town we usually just smile at each other and remember that we're beautifully and happily married and we have a little miracle on the way... less than a week from today actually.

And upon arriving at work, I can plop down in my springy office chair and feel like my wife and I accomplished something.

Granted, it has been more difficult to remain consistently in the Word and prayer each morning but God has been working on both of our hearts. Our prayer is that we can be eachother encouragers and allies.

I'll keep saying it. For me, being married is infinitely more interesting and infinitely more meaningful than being single.

Dairy Cows

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Yep, that's me! Hard at work!

Well, hello. This is my first post. Well... technically it's not but I'm not counting the first one.
Today's been an altogether uneventful day. I spent a while on the phone with my mom this morning... then I sat through a 2 hour meeting, ate lunch... yep.

Actually I have gotten a lot done. Good thing too, I'm going to be somewhat absent for possibly days at a time here in the new future. (You can probably guess why)

It's so great looking forward to being a father. What a gift to actually participate in creation! I don't deserve to be a husband much less a father. But God is gracious. So the count-down begins and barring Divine intervention, our first child will be born in a week. One week. One week from now I can hold my child.

You can't imagine how amazing this feels. Well, some of you can.

(this post has nothing to do with dairy cows)

Linds & I

My best bud Lindsey and I had a great time when she came and visited me last week. Goodness, could my smile be any bigger?

the 28th

So... the twenty-eight of this month could be our baby's birthday. It's the date of the scheduled c-section. Of course we really never know, because the baby could turn around before then, and the c-section would be cancelled. Then labor could begin anytime, even several days after the due date. (July 6.)
"Are you nervous?" Joel asks.
"No...excited!!! We're going to see our baby soon." I'm not anxious at all--even if I have to have surgery. (I hope I don't though!)

It's so amazing being pregnant... a real person being knit together inside of me. I'm never physically alone. I will miss the wonder of having a little life move around in there, so close. But how wonderful will it be to finally hear the baby cry and see our little one's tiny face! Just thinking of hearing the first cry today filled my heart with joy.... What a tremendous gift from God!

The "version"...

Yesterday the doctor tried an external cephalic version on me to try and turn our baby around by placing his hands on my tummy. (For those who have not heard, our baby is breech.)

Joel and I had to go to the hospital at 6:50 and they put me on an IV and strapped two monitors around my belly, one to document the baby's heartbeat, the other for contractions (even though I was not in labor).

After two hours of this monitoring, the anesthesiologist gave me some drugs and told me I would probably see pictures. The procedure is painful and they want the uterus to be relaxed as possible. I barely remember shaking the doctor's hand when he walked in and saying hello to the midwife. I can remember him beginning to place his hands on my abdomen and then I was out. I saw pictures like a kaleidoscope in my mind and the next thing I remembered was Joel wiping tears from my face. The tears kept coming, and I kept asking Joel what had happened. He said later I asked three times and each time he told me that it didn't work, that the baby didn't turn around. I was so out of it, and very emotional. I felt like I had just gone through something major. I kept asking Joel if I could hold the baby and he would just kiss me and say, "Not yet...we will soon." Sabrina, who was also there, told me that even though I was out of it, I grimaced with pain when the doctor pushed hard on my stomach. Joel said the hardest thing for him was how I stared right at him with wide, blank eyes while they were doing the procedure.

So now we're going to schedule a c-section. We both wanted to deliver naturally, of course. We're just continuing to trust that God has us all in His hands. He can whisper to the baby to turn around at any time... but if we have to have a c-section, it won't be so bad.

I just can't wait to hold our little one.......

Baby Photo

If you can can make it out, this is the latest picture of our baby, a 3-D face in 3/4 profile. The eyes are closed and you can see the chubby cheeks! At 36 weeks the ultrasound technician, Kate, said the baby weighed apprx. 6lbs. 11oz.

Today was really hot... and rainy

Melissa got off at 12:30... I wish I could get off at 12:30. I got off at 6...

I like soup and I'm hungry.

Woot!